My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
