you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it's great music for shaving your balls
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
