im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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