mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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