it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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