Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
look no pants
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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