I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize