I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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