bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.