mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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