he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
then he tried to convert me to islam
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
