kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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