Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
