Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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