It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
