he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize