Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize