i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
