I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
