I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
