Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
