so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My bed smells like the plague
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
