you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
