My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
