Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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