i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
