she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
