I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
They took my balls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
