i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
