dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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