Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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