That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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