You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
