yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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