i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
