I heard we made out
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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