One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
