Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
