The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize