I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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