All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
