so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
