I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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