I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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