There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
