I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
