yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
