I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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