White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
