Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We’re leaving where are you
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