Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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