I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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