Me too!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
