Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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  (651): It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits. http://tfl.nu/7qz9
  Replies (24) Good night (4189) Bad night (808)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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  (716): Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time. http://tfl.nu/ytyv
  Replies (79) Good night (7471) Bad night (1479)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

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  (603): Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me. http://tfl.nu/c00l
  Replies (26) Good night (6049) Bad night (1486)
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4791) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Her brother is deaf.

  (214): View more from Texas

  no wonder she was so good with her hands

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  (213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq
  Replies (6) Good night (5547) Bad night (1056)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (313): Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/w4r8
  Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (3098)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.

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  (970): You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done. http://tfl.nu/za6g
  Replies (17) Good night (3596) Bad night (864)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

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  (816): This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/wupp
  Replies (8) Good night (2406) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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  (802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (1322)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.

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  (403): Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over. http://tfl.nu/puou
  Replies (9) Good night (2358) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.

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  (646): If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more. http://tfl.nu/8b5s
  Replies (8) Good night (1131) Bad night (528)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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  (706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl
  Replies (4) Good night (1369) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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  (210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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  (760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now

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  (662): Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now http://tfl.nu/yxmg
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (312)

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