i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"