dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize