We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
