possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
