what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
