awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
