Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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