So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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