you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
