sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
